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Urbano Loureiro

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Title: Questão do Palheiro: Coimbrões e Lisboetas

Author: Urbano Loureiro

Release Date: January 4, 2010 [EBook #30859]

Language: Portuguese

Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK QUESTÃO DO PALHEIRO: ***




Produced by Pedro Saborano (produced from scanned images
of public domain material from Google Book Search)

{3}

QUESTÃO DE PALHEIRO

COIMBRÕES E LISBOETAS

Dai passagem, romanos, ao proscripto,
Que vem vêr se na praça ha peixe frito!
            FABIA.

I.

Ahi p'ra as bandas de baixo
que barulho, que rumor!
É o vinho do Cartaxo,
ou é do Aleixo o licor?
A questão anda ateada,
por um tris não ha pancada,
e nem um cabo sequer!
Nem cabos, nem regedor,
nem alma viva na rua,
nem um cão ladrando á lua,
p'ra despertar a patrulha,
que resona agasalhada
nos capotes d'oleado,
ás soleiras encostada
sem se importar com a bulha,
que me vai na visinhança.
Estaremos na Bairrada?!

Que agentes de seguranca!...{4}
Mas falla-se em litt'ratura;
litt'ratura d'espartilho
e litt'ratura nevoenta...?
Adivinhei a final!
Não é por vinho o barulho,
vem a ser outro o sarilho:
é a gente do Quental
com a gente do Castilho!

Ora o leitor quer saber
d'onde é que nasce a questão?
Vou fallar-lhe sem paixão;
attenda e confie em mim,
que não sou parte suspeita;
a historia, co'a maleita,
lá vai tim-tim por tim-tim.

II.

Uma pergunta em segredo
a respeito do Castilho.
—Sabem quem é o sujeito?—
Um velhote de respeito,
sempre co'a mão no gatilho
d'algum doirado epigramma;
que a pedido faz prefacios,
onde ha perolas e lama;
que não encontra poetas
como os Virgilios e Horacios;
que foi o author infeliz
do a-b-c repentino,
e da Lilia abandonada,
que p'lo ciume ralada
se trespassou co'um pepino.{5}

Já o conhecem?—Pois bem!
Um dia 'stava o bom velho
co'uma das mãos n'um joelho,
n'um joelho ou n'um artelho,
(isto diz-se; não n'o juro)
meditando no futuro,
talvez prevendo da Hespanha
o rebentar da castanha;
e batem de rijo á porta.
—Quem é?—a criada indaga.
—Manoel Pinheiro Chaga.—

—Manda subir a visita.—
E de si p'ra si:—Que praga!—
E quando elle entra na sala:
—Ó meu amigo, que dita!
Como se lembrou de mim
no meio dos seus triumphos
o Méry do folhetim?—
—É lisonja; agradecido;
acabei o meu poema...—
—E vem a mostrar-m'o, sim?
Então, amigo, não trema;
o tremer é de criança;
em mim não põe confiança?
Parece pouco animoso!...—

—Bagatella! isto é nervoso!
Padeço muito dos nervos!—
—Eia, sus, ó meu irmão,
eia, vate sonoroso!
a ti a minha attenção!—

E o poeta recitou-lhe
d'um só fôl'go a Invocação:{6}
e logo apoz o poema,
que na filha d'uma beef
(p'lo modo séria menina,
que o Chaga baptisou Emma)
fui descobrir a heroina.
E por fim o poemeto,
em que o heroe papa-fina,
p'ra não dizer papa-moscas,
á chuva, mui socegado,
medita no seu passado.

E vai e disse o Castilho
quando o Chaga terminou:
—Muito bem! dê-me um abraço,
aperte-me este espinhaço!
O senhor não leu, cantou!
Mil parabens!—
             —Agradeço,
são favor's que não mereço.—

O velho deu quatro passos,
e para encobrir o riso:
—Ouça cá, tive uma idéa;
se eu lhe escrevesse um «juizo»,
p'ra o livro fazer mais bulha,
urdido á moda de tea,
e n'ella entalado um grulha,
que espirrasse co'a pitada?
—Vossa excellencia pinhora-me
—Acceita?—
        —Muito óbrigada;
isso mesmo era o que eu qu'ria
p'ra os volumes não ficarem
nos lotos da livraria...—{7}
—Então, 'stá dito?—
                    —'Stá dito!—
Retiro-me.—
          —Adeus, amigo;
p'ra tudo conte commigo.—

E o vate desceu a escada
trauteando o pirolito.

III.

Leram do livro o final?
Toparam com a pitada
ao Anthero do Quental?
Pois o Anthero deu patada!
Viu em tudo aquillo fel,
e sem qu'rer foi á parede!
Botou o Castilho a rede
e pescou... um bacharel!

Veio o bom-senso e o bom-gosto
provar que estava no posto
o ratão, que se incumbira
de chamar os compradores
p'ra o livro que não sahira
dos armarios do livreiro
sem do Anthero os máos humores.

Levou p'ra baixo o Castilho;
aquillo é que foi malhar!
e malhar em ferro frio,
segundo se ousa affirmar,{8}
que o velhote, esse, nem pio!

Não se pôde em si conter
aquelle pobre Quental!
Foi uma tunda de mestre
no mestre, mas a valer!
Não lhe queiramos nós mal.

E o Castilho, sempre moita,
ri d'aquelle que o espanca;
não tinha mais que fazer
do que ao Quental responder!

E o Quental por cima tranca!

IV.

Tinha esquecido dizer
que o Quental é coimbrão,
e não gosta do Castilho
com razão ou sem razão;
d'isso não quero saber.

E de Coimbra e Lisboa
os litteratos de prôa
saltaram logo p'ra o campo
a discutir a questão,
pregando fachada á toa,
a maior parte no chão,
e creio que toda em vão.

Cada qual quiz ser juiz
no barulho, em que o bom-senso{9}
appar'ceu, segundo penso,
esmorrado do nariz.
E veio á arena o Roussado
com chalaças a granel
(que em chalaça é jubilado)
a entampar o bacharel,
que havia ao mestre bufado.
Sinto que fosse infeliz
n'autopsia que fez ás Odes;
mas como não é culpado
conte que está perdoado.

O volume do Quental
não deve ser máo petisco
no sexto ceo do ideal.
Comparo-o (mas ao poeta)
a qualquer pardal ou pisco,
e sobre tudo ao pardal,
que pretendesse imitar...
que sei? a aguia real,
quando fende altiva o ar
para as campinas do ceo
do mais puro azul sem veu;
na phrase dos Victor Hugos,
a quem tiro o meu chapeu.

Ao illustrado Quental
peço muita paciencia
a par de alguma indulgencia.
Desculpe sua excellencia;
o que eu digo nada val.

Siga a bicha em continencia!{10}

V.

Havia ha pouco appa'rcido
o reportorio em questão,
do senhor Manoel Roussado
(aqui tam mal succedido)
quando veio um coimbrão
chamado, se não me engano,
fulano de tal Elmano,
a responder ao Anthero,
(pondo á parte o trocadilho)
com ar ginja e pedantesco,
e qu'rendo dar ao Castilho
alguns salutar's conselhos.

O conselheiro burlesco!!...

Fez fiasco o tal ratão;
mesmo na propria Coimbra
lhe chamaram papelão.
Diz-se aquillo ir burcar lã
para surdir tosquiado!

Parva eschola coimbrã!

P'lo morto... tres padre-nossos
ao deitar, depois de cêa.

Madrasta eschola, d'Elmano
nem sequer terás os ossos!!
—Non habebis ossa mea!....—{11}

VI.

Façamos a vista grossa,
p'ra não ter de esmiuçar
o que disse a grande troça
de escriptor's folhetinistas,
que no assumpto quiz fallar.
(É mais proprio «debicar».)

Para o lado o Carvalhal,
que affirmou que o suicidio
não era idéa immoral;
e defendeu o Quental
com gracinhas de funil,
jogadas do Chaga ao livro
no «Diario Mercantil».
Para o lado o proprio Chaga
com todo o seu folhetim;
vamos direitos ao Braga
a pedir-lhe as Theocracias.
Muito bem! agora sim!
Que citações e que nomes!
Que fundas philosophias!
O Braga, palavra d'honra,
vale doze livrarias!!....

Até fallou em javardo!!!....

Eu prefiro um homem d'estes
a qualquer frade bernardo.
Pois estouro no Castilho?{12}
contam-se as bombas p'las phrases!
Ai, velhote, nunca tu
te metteras com rapazes!
Essa gente—isto é um facto!—
que não respeita o rabicho
faz de ti gatto-çapato;
o melhor é despresal-a,
como quem despresa o licho;
despresal-a... por capricho!

Ao Braga, seguiu-se... quem?
Ah! o Julio de Castilho,
que, no meu pensar, é filho
do velhote espadachim;
pois trouxe á barra um folheto
sem vir tarjado de preto!!!....
As tres paginas do fim
do bade-meco alludido
são talvez as de mais graça!
Eu ri-me como um perdido...
Não que está boa a chalaça!
mesmo boa de uma vez!

Põe o sê Julio em praça,
em portuguez e francez,
os nomes, que teem rendido
da nossa lyra ao princez
homenagens de partido.

Elle sempre ha cada maça!!...

Logar a mais um p'ra a sucia,
que chegou; é lisboeta.
P'lo nome talvez conheçam{13}
Amaro Mendes Gaveta,
respeitavel escriptor.
Elle é muito conhecido;
traz algodão n'um ouvido,
e tem o pai ferrador.

Eis o caso!
            O tal sujeito
com basofias de pimpão,
a tratar bestas afeito,
aos da questão serviu palha,
tojo e palha, e com razão.
—Desconfio que o Gaveta
se propõe a deputado
n'esta proxima eleição;
eu sei as suas idéas
a respeito da fusão.—

Mas voltando á vacca fria,
do tal Amaro direi,
que, á parte a semsaboria,
tem chiste n'alguns bocados.
É pena que entre bons versos
viessem alguns errados.

Isso porém acontece.
Quem ha 'hi que um trambulhão
n'uma descida não désse?

—Estava já p'ra fechar.—
Não fecharei sem primeiro
de um tal Carrero fallar;
de um Carrero ou de um Carreiro;
tanto não posso affirmar.{14}

Eu cá, dos dois appellidos,
votava p'lo derradeiro.

C'est assez de divagar.

O Carrero (seja assim)
deixou-me quasi entalado;
p'ra dizer o que nos disse
antes ficasse calado:
ou fizesse á brisa, á lua,
versinhos de pé quebrado,
como fez outr'ora Ulysses,
que no mar das trapisondas,
entre outras muitas ratices,
caminhou ardendo em braza,
por cima das turvas ondas,
como nós por nossa caza.

Deu-se isto quando vivia
no cimo da cotovia.

Se acaso me dão licença,
entro na ordem do dia.{15}

VII.

Quem falta mais?—Falto eu,
que na renhida questão
não sei quem tenha razão.

P'ra que saibam:—Sou poeta,
e se vim com isto á feira
no reinado da careta,
e da policia secreta,
foi que faltar não podia
sem mentir á vocação.

Mas quem se ri d'isto tudo
é o Chaga e o Castilho.
Nenhum d'elles anda mal.
Esta questão do Quental
parece questão de entrudo.

Eu, por mim, tambem me rio,
que da historia vejo o atilho.

E tu, leitor, não te ris?
Ri-te de mim, se quizeres;
aqui 'stou, aqui me tens.
Em vez de fazer colheres,
coisa muito aconselhada,
fiz o folheto que vês.{16}

—Não me dês os parabens
por esta grande estopada;
dá-me só... cinco vintens...

Entrudo, no meu faval,
tantos de tal.

Da meia noite ao bater
no relogio do visinho,
procurando adormecer
da cama no patrio ninho.

Preço, o da taxa—100 reis.

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